I am pleased to report that I have recovered quite nicely since the last…shall we say…incident. I apologize for the clamor. And for the disruption I caused to your perfectly, well mind.
It was painful. It was…well, it was the only near-death experience I’ve ever experienced. But I’m okay now. Though I admit I'm a little needle shy. I shan’t love again. I’m quite decided on that. But at least she’s out of my life. Hmmph...
*Puah Puah Puah*
Have you ever noticed how fish don’t shout explosively when jumping into a body of water? Shouting, “GERONIMO!!!!” or some such clamorous obscenity?
Well I have. I think of it quite frequently, as a matter of fact. As do I think of wetsuits and how silly they are; and parachutes! Parachutes are a ridiculous form of protection! They make one feel like they are experiencing very real, dangerous risks, while being wholly and entirely protected. It makes no sense.
“Here, let me dive out of an airplane, experience the joys of flying and land beautifully on the ground, sustaining only mild, potential injuries--” (Idyllically hoping the giant packing the parachute was even mildly attentive at the time) “--and pretend like it’s DANGEROUS.” Oooooohh…Scary!
Condemned, puny minds! Coming from he who darest to experience the joys of flight – the most desirable of all living experiences. It is not so.
...Swimming with sharks, on the other hand, and moray eels…. Fearing the sting of the great jellyfish...and beholding the most feared unknown MONSTROCITIES that live deep below the ocean’s surface….
It was painful. It was…well, it was the only near-death experience I’ve ever experienced. But I’m okay now. Though I admit I'm a little needle shy. I shan’t love again. I’m quite decided on that. But at least she’s out of my life. Hmmph...
*Puah Puah Puah*
Have you ever noticed how fish don’t shout explosively when jumping into a body of water? Shouting, “GERONIMO!!!!” or some such clamorous obscenity?
Well I have. I think of it quite frequently, as a matter of fact. As do I think of wetsuits and how silly they are; and parachutes! Parachutes are a ridiculous form of protection! They make one feel like they are experiencing very real, dangerous risks, while being wholly and entirely protected. It makes no sense.
“Here, let me dive out of an airplane, experience the joys of flying and land beautifully on the ground, sustaining only mild, potential injuries--” (Idyllically hoping the giant packing the parachute was even mildly attentive at the time) “--and pretend like it’s DANGEROUS.” Oooooohh…Scary!
Condemned, puny minds! Coming from he who darest to experience the joys of flight – the most desirable of all living experiences. It is not so.
...Swimming with sharks, on the other hand, and moray eels…. Fearing the sting of the great jellyfish...and beholding the most feared unknown MONSTROCITIES that live deep below the ocean’s surface….
This is what mere mortal fish fear – and must experience on a daily basis. (With the exception, of course, of fishbowl fish.) And they learn to cope! For they are forced to swim amongst the very entities they fear most. “Sink or swim.” That’s what they call it! (Except that we breathe even under water, don’t we...? So we don’t drown. And when we die, we float…. So we don’t ever, really sink. Sinking, therefore isn't an ideal option...so when choosing between the two, it makes it all the more simplistic! One always chooses to: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" AHEM. My apologies. I digress. *Puah Puah Puah* | "Oooooohh…Scary!" |
I overheard an argument betwixt my owners yesterday. (A disgraceful term, I admit. I am ashamed to say it has not been done away with and still exists in this so-called, 'modern' era of freedom. But alas, pet ownership and fish slavery have not yet been aborted.) They had a disagreement regarding the understanding of the Great Psycho-Analytic Fish, Dr. Freud’s, findings. For he was a fish, I assure you.
It was his ‘owner’ giant who stealthfully acquired his journal of studies and plagiarized it, publishing the findings as his own. This is why – it must be why – I could understand none of the idiotic things they were attributing to him. If he indeed said what they believed to be his statements, it was certainly not a psychological breakthrough. More along the essence of a psycho breaking through. Which is never a good thing.
*Puah Puah Puah*
I can only attribute such idiocy, and the fervency with which they believed it, to mistranslation. Yes, that must be the answer. Fish have a very particular way of writing; very distinctive; with well-defined speech patterns. Well...you know. You are reading this, after all.
But…they were quoting some nonsense about the Ego, Super-ego, and Id.
I was uproarious with laughter.
I must say…in all my days…I’ve never heard anything quite so hysterical! Ego, Super-ego, and Id!!! Why to base one’s life and meditate one’s precious thoughts on such 'findings!' Why, they came out of... I’m not sure I can even say it, it's so absurd…. His 'findings' came out of what are essentially records of the most famous, three stooges in all of De História Piscium! It’s hilarity, I tell you! Utter nonsense.
Your, Mr. Freud’s Ego, must have been what I can only describe as a mistranslation of our, Dr. Freud’s “Eye-gore.” Superego, the same, spawning from “Super-eye-gore,” who was Eye-gore’s animated little mini-me, and "Id!" Why “Id” wasn’t “Id” at all – it was “Sid!” They were all names. The old fruit got it terribly wrong. But leave it to fishtranslation and confusion over the British way of speaking and it’s a fairly simple mistake, I expect - well, for a giant anyway. We are, after all, superior creatures.
I tell you, though, I could nothing but laugh!
The giants all at once stopped their argument to investigate why “the fishbowl [had] erupted into bubbles.”
It was his ‘owner’ giant who stealthfully acquired his journal of studies and plagiarized it, publishing the findings as his own. This is why – it must be why – I could understand none of the idiotic things they were attributing to him. If he indeed said what they believed to be his statements, it was certainly not a psychological breakthrough. More along the essence of a psycho breaking through. Which is never a good thing.
*Puah Puah Puah*
I can only attribute such idiocy, and the fervency with which they believed it, to mistranslation. Yes, that must be the answer. Fish have a very particular way of writing; very distinctive; with well-defined speech patterns. Well...you know. You are reading this, after all.
But…they were quoting some nonsense about the Ego, Super-ego, and Id.
I was uproarious with laughter.
I must say…in all my days…I’ve never heard anything quite so hysterical! Ego, Super-ego, and Id!!! Why to base one’s life and meditate one’s precious thoughts on such 'findings!' Why, they came out of... I’m not sure I can even say it, it's so absurd…. His 'findings' came out of what are essentially records of the most famous, three stooges in all of De História Piscium! It’s hilarity, I tell you! Utter nonsense.
Your, Mr. Freud’s Ego, must have been what I can only describe as a mistranslation of our, Dr. Freud’s “Eye-gore.” Superego, the same, spawning from “Super-eye-gore,” who was Eye-gore’s animated little mini-me, and "Id!" Why “Id” wasn’t “Id” at all – it was “Sid!” They were all names. The old fruit got it terribly wrong. But leave it to fishtranslation and confusion over the British way of speaking and it’s a fairly simple mistake, I expect - well, for a giant anyway. We are, after all, superior creatures.
I tell you, though, I could nothing but laugh!
The giants all at once stopped their argument to investigate why “the fishbowl [had] erupted into bubbles.”
It was all I could do to act FIERCE and maintain my place of distinction. Then they continued on about the ‘iceberg’ and I just about lost it!!! It appears that your Mr. Freud described his three-pronged theory, depicting it as an ‘iceberg.’ Well this was the last straw. I howled, as only a fish can. Eye-gore, Super-eye-gore, and Sid all died frozen in an iceberg – in the very same positioning as your Mr. Freud’s diagram, I might mention – because they “went off on a spree and they swam and they swam right out to the sea.” It may come as a shock to you, but those escap-ed three little fishies were frozen in that ill-fated iceberg that sunk your illustrious Titanic. (That part I do not find amusing.) But all this to say they really are quite known in history.
I shall contain the laughter for your sake. But to think Freud, the giant, would steal an idea outright – from a Fish, no less – publish it as his own, and mistake the details so outrageously! It just has me in a fit of laughter, that’s all. And to think that millions of giants based their own thoughts, intellectual property, and further theories based on this nut, and a grossly-mistranslated piece of literature. Such a waste.
Now I should say, that much like your Three Stooges, our Three Little Fishies made way for many a story, nursery rhyme, and song…up until their untimely death. That was unfortunate.
At any rate. I feel it is my duty to right this enormous wrong that has been done to Issachar. [It should be herein noted that ‘Sigmund,’ truly was his name – your Freud, that is. For no fish would adequately be named as such. Our Dr. Freud’s name was Issachar. Issachar Freud. And yes, he was Jewish. And yes, he was Jewish, with a British accent. (The two are not mutually exclusive.)] Issachar Freud conducted many, many studies and made findings of enormous, psychofishical proportions, and to see his work so devastated…it is most distressing.
I trust I can count on you to make it right. For after all…I am only a fish. Just like many others you have seen. Sitting in a fishbowl, visible to all, trapped – yet ever hopeful –, making gargantuan discoveries, and making giants laugh…one bubble at a time.
I shall contain the laughter for your sake. But to think Freud, the giant, would steal an idea outright – from a Fish, no less – publish it as his own, and mistake the details so outrageously! It just has me in a fit of laughter, that’s all. And to think that millions of giants based their own thoughts, intellectual property, and further theories based on this nut, and a grossly-mistranslated piece of literature. Such a waste.
Now I should say, that much like your Three Stooges, our Three Little Fishies made way for many a story, nursery rhyme, and song…up until their untimely death. That was unfortunate.
At any rate. I feel it is my duty to right this enormous wrong that has been done to Issachar. [It should be herein noted that ‘Sigmund,’ truly was his name – your Freud, that is. For no fish would adequately be named as such. Our Dr. Freud’s name was Issachar. Issachar Freud. And yes, he was Jewish. And yes, he was Jewish, with a British accent. (The two are not mutually exclusive.)] Issachar Freud conducted many, many studies and made findings of enormous, psychofishical proportions, and to see his work so devastated…it is most distressing.
I trust I can count on you to make it right. For after all…I am only a fish. Just like many others you have seen. Sitting in a fishbowl, visible to all, trapped – yet ever hopeful –, making gargantuan discoveries, and making giants laugh…one bubble at a time.